so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
