I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
