Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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