I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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