No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
