i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
