I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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