i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
