You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
