I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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