Porn is love you can see.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
