Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
