Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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