She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
