i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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