need another drink. this is the easiest way
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize