Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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