some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
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