summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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