I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
