Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
