I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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