Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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