the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
