It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
