just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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