...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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