I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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