I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
