Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
