Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The uberlube is also flammable
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
