Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
