i permit you to call me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I need moral support for this bender
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
