i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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