Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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