Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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