a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now