I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.