His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.