i jhust puked up my retainher.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
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Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.