I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.