is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.