With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy