Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
