that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
