ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
