She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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