Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
