you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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