Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
