My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
