you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
