Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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