he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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