I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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