So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
