addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
