you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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