I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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