What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
