He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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