In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
