yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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