I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize