woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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