that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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