They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
