carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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