What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
