two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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