How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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