if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
