I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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