Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
