i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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