I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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