you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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