Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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